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Characters: This is
mostly Huck Ziegler. Molly’s here too. Everyone else shows up. And it’s CJ/Toby
as well.
Spoilers: None really.
This starts three years after Season 4.
Rating:
PG
Summary: Huck and Molly
Ziegler grow up.
Author’s note: This is
something totally different for me. I hope you enjoy
it.
For Angie. I couldn’t
have done this without you, my friend.
And, for my Dad. Who,
even before it was “legal”, was never a step-anything. Thanks for helping to
make me who I am.
Feedback: Is very
welcomed by me!!
Disclaimers: I don’t
own anything. I did make up a few people here and there, but I don’t think I
even own them. Please don’t sue me.
Fragments Of A
Life
2006
His sister is crying.
She’s clutching that stupid pink flamingo that Aunt CJ had given her. Huck
stands absolutely still as Mommy puts the last of his clothes in a suitcase. He
doesn’t understand what Mommy’s saying. He doesn’t know what he did to make her
send them away.
He likes his room. And
his toys. Mommy said they would only be in the boxes until they got to his new
room. But he’s not sure.
He understands that he
and Molly are going to Daddy’s house. And Mommy’s not coming. If he’s been told
for how long, he’s forgotten. But, it must be a really long time. Because this
is the first time that all his stuff is going too.
Daddy walks into the
room and picks up his sister. Uncle Josh is right behind him. He takes the
suitcase from Mommy and disappears.
“Andy?”
“Toby! Don’t. Just...
don’t.”
And then Mommy’s
squeezing him so much that it hurts. And he starts crying. She tells Huck that
she loves him, and he’ll have fun at Daddy’s. And try to be a good boy. She does
the same with Molly, still in Daddy’s arms.
Molly tries to hold
onto Mommy. But Daddy’s strong and he pulls her away.
“Come on,
son.”
Daddy holds out his
hand and Huck takes it. Together they go out to the car where Uncle Josh is
waiting.
~*~
Uncle Josh stops the
car in front of Daddy’s house. He and Daddy start to get Huck and Molly out of
their car seats. Huck looks out the window. The front door opens and Aunt CJ
comes out.
She reaches the car
just as he’s freed from his seat.
“Hey guys. How ya
doing?”
Aunt CJ picks him up
and gives him a big kiss on the cheek. He hugs her neck tightly as she kisses
Molly, who’s back in Daddy’s arms.
They walk into the
house. Aunt CJ puts him down, but he stays close.
“I made lunch. Are you
guys hungry?”
At Uncle Josh’s funny
noise, she rolls her eyes.
“Okay. I bought lunch.
But, there are cupcakes for dessert.”
After they’ve eaten
lunch and Daddy has washed cupcakes off their faces and hands, Huck and Molly
carefully climb the stairs to their rooms.
Daddy, Uncle Josh, and
Aunt CJ unpack their suitcases and boxes. Arranging all their stuff in the rooms
just like they want it. Molly makes Aunt CJ move her stuffed animals at least
three times. It’s dinnertime before they finish. Daddy tries to get them to
stay, but Aunt CJ and Uncle Josh say they have to get going. He hears Aunt CJ
whisper to Daddy.
“You’re going to have
to get used to this sooner or later, Tobus. This is it. They’re yours full-time
now. I’ll come by for breakfast, though.”
Huck thinks it’s just
like all the other times he’s spent the night at Daddy’s. Except it isn’t. Daddy
had said this was their home now. They live here now.
2008
“Happy Birthday Huck
and Molly. Happy Birthday to you.”
Huck looks at all the
grown-ups who have just finished singing. This was the best birthday party. CJ
had gotten a jumping castle for the backyard. And, she’d made Daddy go in, which
was really funny. Daddy had gotten them everything they had asked for. And Mommy
had come.
The twins blow out the
candles on their cakes. CJ had made sure they each had their own cake. Molly’s
was cherry. His was chocolate.
He waves goodbye to
Mommy. Molly’s crying a little. But, Uncle Will has promised her a pony ride on
his back. So, she’s almost stopped crying. He doesn’t understand why Mommy
didn’t stay. She didn’t even eat a piece of cake. But, he’s a big boy. And he’s
not going to cry.
~*~
Most of the guests have
gone home. He and Molly are being allowed to stay up late. Huck’s sitting in
CJ’s lap listening to the President. He’s talking about a farm. It sounds like
lots of fun. But, CJ says there are snakes in the
barn.
“And, no. We can’t go
get one to bring home. Forget it.”
CJ’s smiling at him.
Maybe she’ll let him get a lizard instead. He’ll have to ask her later. The
President’s laughing. He tells her that family life certainly seems to agree
with her.
“Sir, it’s been two
months. I think retirement is making you
sentimental.”
She ruffles Huck’s hair
and pulls him closer. Tighter.
“But, these guys kinda
worm their way into your heart, ya know?”
“Yes. It’s one of the
joys of parenthood. Now, if you and Toby would just get married...
.”
“Mr.
President!”
~*~
Huck falls asleep in
CJ’s arms and wakes for only a minute when she and Daddy tuck him into bed. He
dreams of birthday cakes and barns with snakes. And being a worm in CJ’s
heart.
2009
He hates school. It’s
stupid. The kids are stupid. The teachers are stupid. School is just plain
stupid.
He’s trying so hard to
ignore the other kids around him that he doesn’t realize the bus has stopped
until Molly hits him in the arm. He shoulders his backpack and gets off the bus.
CJ’s waiting for them in the shade of a huge tree.
“Hey guys. How was
school?”
Huck growls and stalks
past her as Molly tells her about their day. When he gets inside the house he
goes straight for the kitchen. There are milk and cookies on the table. He
doesn’t feel hungry. He just slumps into his chair.
CJ’s mad. She’s making
that face. The one where she looks like she’s trying to keep all the yelling
inside her mouth. He knows Molly has told her what happened. And now, she’s mad
at him. Just like that stupid teacher.
“Your teacher gave you
a note? Let me see it.”
Slowly he pulls the
note out of his back pocket. He hands it to CJ. Molly pulls her chair closer to
his and sits down. She puts an Oreo in front of him.
CJ’s pacing. He can’t
make out everything she’s saying, but he does catch “the most ridiculous thing”.
His face turns red.
CJ finally sits
opposite him. She puts her fingers under his chin and raises his head so he’ll
look at her.
“Huck Ziegler, you
listen to me. Your teacher is an idiot. She has absolutely no business being a
teacher. And tomorrow, that’s exactly what I’m gonna tell her. Just wait until
your father reads this. It’s ridiculous.”
His eyes light up.
She’s not mad at him. She’s mad at his stupid teacher. He takes the Oreo that
Molly offered and pops it into his mouth whole.
~*~
Dad calls a little
later and the twins listen as CJ tells him what happened at school over the
phone. Huck’s listening carefully for Dad’s reaction. He can tell by what CJ’s
saying that Dad’s not mad at him either.
He and Molly are really
excited when they hear that Uncle Josh and Uncle Will are coming for dinner. And
not just because it means that they’ll get take-out. They love CJ. But, she
doesn’t seem to be getting much better with the cooking. Plus, their uncles are
a lot of fun.
~*~
That night, after
they’ve been put to bed, Huck and Molly meet in the hallway and make their way
to the landing so they can listen to the grown-ups. Just like they do every time
Dad and CJ have friends over. They can hear CJ and Uncle Will laughing. And
Uncle Josh raising his voice to be heard over them.
“No, no, no. The best
part isn’t that when asked the name of the president, your son said ‘Josiah
Bartlet’, Toby. The best part is that the teacher actually wrote in her stupid,
little note to you that when asked who lived in the White House, Huck said an
‘embarrassment to the party’. As if that was the worst answer
imaginable.”
Even Dad is laughing
now. Molly nudges him that it’s time to go back to bed. Reluctantly he rises and
follows her down the hallway. The last thing he hears is CJ’s
voice.
“Yeah. She’s going to
be amazed when she finds out how proud we are of
that.”
2011
Molly’s crying again.
He hates it when she does that. He won’t ever admit it, but it makes him want to
cry. He doesn’t blame her for crying now though. It’s not
fair.
Molly’s in the
Bluebirds. She says they’re way cooler than the Brownies. But, tomorrow is their
Mother/Daughter picnic. It’s been on the calendar for months. CJ’s helped her
plan all the food she wants to take. But, now she says she’s not
going.
Mom called. She’s got a
meeting or a vote or something. She can’t go to the picnic. Now Molly says she
can’t go because she doesn’t have a mother. At least that’s what she yelled
before she ran into her room and slammed the door. Dad says to leave her for a
while. To let her calm down. Huck thinks Dad’s just stalling for time until CJ
gets home.
He knocks on the
door.
“Molls, it’s me. Let me
in, okay?”
She doesn’t answer, but
the door opens a crack. He takes that as the only invitation he’ll get and goes
inside. He sits next to Molly on the bed. He nudges her with his
shoulder.
“You can still go, you
know.”
“No. I’ll look stupid.
I’ll be the only one there without a mother.”
“You could take CJ. You
know she’ll go with you.”
“Yeah. But, it’s not
the same.”
“I know, Molly. But...
I think... well, I think you’ll have more fun with CJ anyway. Don’t you remember
that one baseball game Mom came to? She clapped. I hit a triple, and she just
clapped, like it was any other kid doing that. But, CJ was jumping up and down,
screaming her guts out. And CJ’s always like that. And she comes to every
game.”
“Yeah. You’re right. I
just... why doesn’t Mom ever come to our stuff?”
“I don’t
know.”
“I’ll ask CJ to go when
she comes home.”
~*~
Huck’s sitting with Dad
in the dining room. They’re both listening to the conversation in the kitchen.
Molly’s asking CJ to go to her picnic tomorrow.
Huck can tell by the
way CJ’s standing that she’s mad. Probably at his mother. But, she’s trying to
act like she’s not mad. He knows she always tries to hide her feelings about
their mother. She does a pretty good job most of the
time.
“Of course I’ll go,
Molly. I’m sorry your mom can’t make it. But, I’d love to
go.”
CJ’s heading for the
phone.
“I just have to call
Donna and let her know I can’t make it tomorrow.”
He can tell that
Molly’s going to cry before the tears start falling. Her whole body clenches up.
And CJ’s abandoned the phone and is holding Molly next to her. Dad’s getting up
and moving into the kitchen. Huck figures he might as well go
too.
“Molly, what is it,
honey? CJ said she’d go.”
Dad’s stroking her hair
while CJ’s making little hushing noises. Molly takes a gulp of air and shakes
them both off. Huck looks into her eyes and understands. He feels the same way.
Molly turns to face Dad and CJ.
“It’s just... you’re
canceling something to go with me tomorrow. Mom would never do that. But, you do
it all the time. CJ... why do you love us more than our
mom?”
It takes CJ a full
second to react to the words. But when she does, it’s swift. She’s on her knees,
holding Molly’s arms.
“Honey, I don’t. Your
mom loves you guys more than anything. But, she’s got a really important job.
And she can’t always do the things with you that she’d like. But, I do love you
guys.”
He watches Dad say
nothing. He never does. Not about their mom. Huck knows that Dad can’t stand
lying. He’s given them enough lectures on the subject. Huck thinks that might be
why Dad always stays silent. He won’t lie. So, he doesn’t say
anything.
Molly doesn’t look
convinced. But, she’s decided to drop it. For now. She nods her head and hugs
CJ. Dad musses her hair. And she smiles at him. CJ’s standing when she asks the
question.
“CJ, could I call you
‘Mom’?”
He watches CJ
swallow.
“At least
tomorrow?”
“Molls, if that’s what
you want, I... of course. You can call me ‘Mom’
tomorrow.”
“What about all the
time?”
Huck realizes that he’s
the one who’s asked the question. Molly smiles at him. They’ve come to the same
decision.
“I don’t... I...
yeah.”
They’ve made CJ cry.
But, he knows she’s not really sad. There are tears in Dad’s eyes. And he
looks... proud of them.
“I’d be honored to be
‘Mom’. C’mere.”
And they’re hugging CJ
hard. He looks at Molly who’s grinning, and up at Dad who has his hand on C...
Mom’s shoulder. He’s glad that Molly will have a real Mother/Daughter picnic
now. And he’s glad that now it’ll be his Mom cheering him at
games.
2012
He doesn’t think he’s
seen anything like this. Ever. He’s sure he doesn’t want to go through this
again. Ever.
Mom’s been crying on
and off for days. Dad’s had tears in his eyes as well. Molly’s cried. Even Huck
has cried a few times. But, he’s never seen so many people crying. Hundreds of
them. Including all the adults he knows. Except Mother. Huck thinks she must
have cried at some point. He hopes so. But, she seems very calm now. Calm, but
angry. She’s mad at Dad and Mom for taking them to the funeral. He’s glad he
went, he thinks.
They’ve only been home
for a couple hours. Josh and Will are here. They flew back together and none of
the adults seemed to want to say goodbye. So they came to the house. Donna and
her new husband, Matt, are here as well. So are Sam and his wife, Caroline. Mom
had ordered pizza. They were all talking about old times. When they were all in
the White House. Sam was saying how different it is in the Senate than it was in
the White House when the doorbell rang. Dad had gone to get the pizzas and had
found Mother at the door instead.
So now, Mom, Dad, and
Mother are in the kitchen. Josh has moved closer to the dining room. Donna keeps
telling him to leave it alone. But, Will and Sam are asking him what’s going on.
Huck and Molly have moved to the side of the kitchen door so they can listen
without Dad seeing them. Mom and Dad are keeping their voices low, so it’s hard
to tell what they’re saying. But, Mother is loud enough to hear. She thinks the
twins should have stayed with her instead of going to New Hampshire. Suddenly,
it’s very easy to hear what Dad’s saying since he’s started
yelling.
“You’re pissed? You’re
pissed that we took the kids to Manchester? What the hell is wrong with you
Andy? They loved him. Of course we took them to the
funeral.”
Mom’s trying to shush
Dad. It seems to work, but now they can hear him pacing. Josh has inched closer.
They can hear Mom talking to Mother, but they can’t make out the
words.
“A family thing, CJ?
That’s what you’re giving me? That was no family thing. That was a State funeral
for God’s sake. And my kids were all over the news, sitting with Abbey Bartlet.
And they are still my kids. Even if you’ve managed to get them to call you
‘mom’. Don’t forget that.”
“Andy, I swear to God
if you don’t... .”
Dad is interrupted by
Josh, who barges into the kitchen.
“Are you pissed because
Huck and Molly are considered part of the Bartlet family, Andy? Or are you
pissed because you weren’t on the news with them? Come on. I think you gave up
the right to righteous indignation when you packed those kids off to live with
Toby six years ago. And don’t start on CJ. She has been more of a mother to them
than you have. Look at what she’s given up to raise your kids. You should be
thanking... .”
“That’s enough! Josh,
go back to the living room. And take Huck and Molly with you. They don’t need to
hear anymore of this. Toby and I will be right out.
Go.”
Mom’s instructions to
Josh are the last they hear from the kitchen. Molly whispers something about
Mom’s ability to see through walls. He knows what she means. Huck can tell that
Josh wants to say more. And that he was reluctant to bring them back into the
living room. Donna shakes her head. Matt and Caroline look sort of confused.
But, Sam and Will both look as angry as Josh.
It’s only a few more
minutes before Mother is hugging the twins and telling them she’ll see them
soon. Maybe this weekend. Molly rolls her eyes. The pizza guy shows up as Mother
is leaving. Mom asks the twins to help her in the kitchen. She hands them dishes
and silverware, but motions for them to wait a
moment.
“Listen guys, I know...
that must have sounded bad. But, I think everybody’s still off balance. This has
been a hard week on all of us. Including you. I know you guys must have
questions. And we can talk about it later, okay? After everyone
leaves.”
Mom smiles and Huck
can’t help but smile back. Molly nods. They take out the dishes and the pizza
and eat quietly while the grown ups tell them more stories about Jed Bartlet.
The man they’ve loved for years. The man they had to bury
yesterday.
~*~
It’s late. Way past
midnight when he sees the crack of light from the hallway enter his bedroom. His
door closes silently and he can barely hear the muffled footsteps across the
carpet. Molly nudges him over and lies down next to
him.
“You weren’t asleep,
were you Huck?”
“No.”
“I couldn’t sleep. I
can’t stop thinking about how mean Josh was to Mother. He was so mad at
her.”
“Yeah. Sam and Will
seemed pretty mad too. Why do you think Mother didn’t want us to go to the
funeral, Molly?”
“I don’t know. Maybe
‘cause it was so sad. I don’t know. I’m glad we went though. Doctor Bartlet said
she was so glad to see us. She told me it did her heart good. Do you know what
that means?”
“No. Maybe it means she
was happy to see you, I dunno. Are you mad at Josh?”
“No. He was defending
Mom, so... . I just wish I knew what he meant about Mom giving stuff up for us.
He made it sound like she lost something really good because of us. I know she
said he was wrong. That he was talking about a boring job that she didn’t want
anyway. I just... maybe she was just trying to make us feel
better.”
“Molly, Mom has a job.
She does all that stuff for women. She works when we’re at
school.”
“I know, but she used
to be on TV all the time. She can’t do that now. She’d never be home for dinner.
Maybe she wants to do that.”
“I don’t think so. I
think she likes being here. Helping with homework and
stuff.”
“Yeah. Maybe. Okay. I’m
going back to bed now.”
But, she’s slow to get
up.
“Molls, if you want...
I mean... you can stay here. If you want.”
“Okay.”
They fall asleep
eventually. And when Huck wakes up the next morning his sister is still sleeping
curled up at his side. He thinks it’s funny how small she gets when she sleeps.
He can smell the coffee being made downstairs. He imagines Mom and Dad at the
kitchen table, reading the newspapers. And then he thinks that the papers will
still have pictures of President Bartlet and the funeral. He feels like crying.
But, he doesn’t. Instead he carefully gets out of bed and goes
downstairs.
2013
This is the most boring
thing in the world. He can’t believe that anyone would want to do this for a
living. It certainly seems nothing like what Dad and Mom talk about. He wishes
he were anywhere but here.
Molly looks equally
bored. And almost as uncomfortable in that ugly, frilly dress as he feels in
this suit. The shirt is too small. So are the shoes. But, at least his don’t
have bows.
Their mother had
finally had them for the weekend. It had been five months since the last time.
But, she had said she was really busy. She promised something extra special this
time. They were going to a rally. They would get to see Mother
work.
Mom had said it would
be neat. They’d get to see what their mother did. And it would be just like when
they got to go with Sam to hear him speak.
Only, it wasn’t. Not
even close. Sam had taken them to a barbeque. He had given a speech that had
been good. Huck and Molly hadn’t understood all of it. But, they knew enough to
know that Sam meant what he said. And he’d seemed excited about it. And then Sam
had eaten with them. Told them stories about working for Dad. And being a little
afraid of Mom. He was funny and they’d had a good
time.
They were not having a
good time right now. Mother had bought them special clothes for this. But, they
didn’t fit right. Molly had said they could go by Dad’s and get clothes that
fit, but Mother said they looked fine. When they’d arrived they had posed for
pictures with Mother. Then she’d put them at a table in the front. She’d said
she’d be right back. It had been almost an hour before they had seen her again.
And then she was on the stage and giving a speech. It was a pretty boring
speech. Everyone else in the room seemed to like it though because they kept
clapping. Huck had finally given up trying to figure out what Mother was talking
about and just clapped when everyone else did. Molly had given up on the
clapping all together.
Mother had just
finished her speech. Huck thought maybe they could go now. But, she was
surrounded by people. So, he didn’t like their chances. And then Molly nudged
him.
“Huck, look. It’s Dad.
What’s he doing here?”
“I dunno. But it looks
like he’s trying to get Mother’s attention.”
He watched as Dad
finally made his way in front of Mother. She didn’t look pleased. She shook her
head a couple times. Dad took her arm and moved her away from the other people.
Then Mother just threw up her hands and pointed at Huck and Molly. Dad walked
towards them quickly.
Huck thought he looked
like he’d been crying. Dad knelt in front of them.
“Hey guys, are you
having fun?”
Molly beat him to the
answer.
“No. This is lame. It’s
not at all like Sam’s thing. Mom was wrong.”
Huck was fascinated by
the pull of muscles in Dad’s face. His neck tightened and he blinked a couple
times.
“Guys, something’s
happened. It’s... well, it’s bad. If you want to stay with your mother, it’s
okay. But, if you want to come home, that’s okay
too.”
Huck looked at his
sister. She was holding her breath. He knew she was just as afraid to ask the
question as he was. Thankfully, Dad looked like he would tell them without them
having to ask.
“It’s Sam. He and
Caroline went out on the boat this morning. We don’t... I’m not sure what
happened. But, they’re... they’re gone.”
Huck swallowed. Molly
shook her head. He didn’t understand.
“Gone
where?”
He knew he sounded like
a little kid. But, Huck just couldn’t understand what Dad was
saying.
“They’re
dead.”
“We want to come home,
Daddy. Please.”
It was Molly who had
given their decision. In a small part of Huck’s mind he thought it was funny
that she’d called him ‘Daddy’. She hadn’t done that in a long time. Not since...
well, not since President Bartlet had died.
Dad took their hands
and led them over to Mother. She gave the twins a quick kiss on the cheek and
turned back to the people she was talking to. All Huck wanted was to go
home.
~*~
They walked in the
house. The first thing they saw was Mom holding Josh on the couch. Josh was
sobbing and didn’t seem to hear them come in. Mom waved her hand towards the
kitchen and Dad steered them to the stairs.
“Why don’t you guys go
change. Then come down to the kitchen. I think Josh needs a little time alone
with Mom, okay?”
Huck nodded and
followed Molly up the stairs silently. When he got to his room, he shut the door
as quietly as possible. And then he ripped off the jacket. Pulling off his shoes
without untying the laces, he threw them towards the closet. He pushed the pants
down quickly and fought to get them off his ankles. He tore the shirt off and
the buttons went flying. The socks were last. He threw them too. When he was
left standing in only his underwear he picked up the clothes and the shoes and
jammed them as hard as he could in the bathroom garbage can. The can was too
small for all the clothes so he kept pushing them in. Harder and
harder.
He didn’t hear the door
open. Didn’t see his dad standing in the bathroom doorway for a few minutes. He
only cared about getting those stupid clothes into the stupid can. He didn’t
realize he was crying.
And then Dad was
picking him up. Carrying him to the bed. Holding him
tight.
“It’s gonna be okay,
son. Shh. It’s gonna be okay,”
“It’s not
fair!”
“I know. You’re right.
It’s not. I’m so sorry, Huck. I’m sorry. It’s not
fair.”
Huck cried for several
minutes. Then, he slowly lifted his head and looked at his father through blurry
eyes.
“Your shirt’s ripped,
Dad.”
“Yes. It
is.”
“You ripped it like you
did with President Bartlet.”
“Yeah.”
“I should rip my shirt
too.”
He was surprised to
hear his father laugh.
“Huck, I think you did
enough damage to your clothes already. I think Sam would
understand.”
He hugged Dad
hard.
“Why don’t you put some
clothes on and go downstairs. I’m gonna check on your
sister.”
~*~
When he got downstairs
he could hear someone in the kitchen. It was Mom. She was putting the kettle on
the stove. She turned when she heard him. He moved quickly to her and found
himself engulfed in her arms. She stroked his back and whispered how much she
loved him in his ear.
It wasn’t until the
kettle whistled that she stood up. Ruffling his hair, she asked Huck to help her
with the coffee cups.
He took a cup of tea
out to Josh and sat silently next to him. He answered the door when Will came.
And again when Donna and Matt arrived. He sat and watched these adults cry. And
comfort each other. He listened to their stories about Sam. He watched Mom grab
Molly when she and Dad finally came downstairs. He watched Molly cry as Mom
hugged her and whispered to her. He let the other adults hug him. He even let
Molly curl up next to him in the overstuffed chair that Dad usually sat in. And
he realized that all these people were part of his family. And that was why it
hurt so much. They’d lost more members of the family.
2016
He can hear the debate
raging in the kitchen. He feels safe, ensconced on the sofa. He can listen
without actually getting pulled into it. He would laugh if he didn’t think Molly
might hear him and drag him in on her side. He is on her side. Kind of. Huck
thinks she’s capable of taking care of herself. But, he also understands Dad’s
point of view.
“Molly, I’ve already
said ‘no’. Absolutely not! That is the end of the discussion young
lady.”
“Dad, it’s not fair!
You’d let Huck go. You know you would. Tell him Mom.”
“Molls, I have to agree
with your father on this one. I just don’t think it’s a good
idea.”
“Why can’t you guys
trust me?! I’m thirteen years old. In some countries I’d be married by
now.”
“That, right there,
that is your doing CJ. I blame you for that.”
“I know, Tobus. I know.
But, you have to give me credit for backing you up
here.”
“Argh! I can’t believe
you’re saying ‘no’! What happened to my parents? What happened to the people who
have taught me and Huck to be independent for... well,
forever?”
“First of all, it’s
Huck and I... .”
“Toby, that, right
there, that’s you not helping.”
“And second,
independence stops when you think it’s okay to go out with a sixteen year old
boy on a date. Believe it or not, I was a sixteen year old boy once, and I’m not
letting you anywhere near that. And again, end of
discussion.”
Huck can hear his
sister storming up the stairs. He thinks that Molly is probably right. He would
probably be allowed to go on a date. If he had any desire to do so. But, it’s
different. And he finds it funny that Mom, who is always saying that women can
do anything men can is on Dad’s side of the argument. He wonders what her
sisterhood would say to that. He thinks it’s safe to go get a soda now when he
hears Mom laughing.
“I can’t believe you
said ‘end of discussion’. Twice.”
“I can’t believe you
wanted credit for backing me up.”
“Yeah, but you sounded
like, well... like a mean old parent just then.”
“Thank you for
that.”
He hears Mom laughing
again. And then she’s quiet. Huck gets up from the sofa to get that soda when he
sees Mom and Dad standing in the kitchen kissing. On second thought, maybe he’ll
just go upstairs.
He knocks on the door
and waits. After he’s heard the third thump, he opens the door. He picks up the
books blocking the door and goes in, closing the door behind him. He lies across
the bed next to his sister.
“You know, Molls, I
don’t think it’s that big a deal. I mean you said yourself you don’t even like
Jimmy all that much.”
“That’s not the point.
And you know it.”
“Well, then what’s the
point?”
“They’d let you go.
But, I can’t go because I’m a girl.”
“I don’t think it’s so
much that you’re a girl, as it is that you’re a thirteen year old girl and he’s
a sixteen year old boy. They trust you. They just don’t trust him. Why isn’t he
going out with high school girls anyway? I mean you are only
thirteen.”
“Ouch.”
“I didn’t mean it like
that Molly.”
“Yeah, I know. I
just... I wanted to be the one to decide, you know? I wanted them to say ‘yes’
so it would be my choice. I probably would have said ‘no’
anyway.”
“Yeah.”
“What did they say
after I left?”
“Not much. Mom was
making fun of Dad. And then they were kissing.”
“They are so weird. I
mean, seriously Huck, don’t you think we have like the weirdest family in
town?”
“Well, if you count
Josh and Will too... yeah. I think we’d get that
award.”
His sister sighs and
sits up. By unspoken agreement they head downstairs. He knows that Molly will
act put out for about five minutes. But then, everything will be back to normal.
He thinks Dad might even take them out to dinner.
~*~
He was right. Dad had
decided that they would go out to dinner. As a consolation Molly had been given
the choice of the restaurant. Mom had laughed for five full minutes when Molly
had chosen the new vegetarian restaurant in Georgetown. But, Dad had been a good
sport about it. Mostly.
“I swear those were
weeds. That’s not food. Unless you’re a cow, which I am
not.”
“Toby, stop
complaining. The food was good. And it’s good for you to balance out all the
other crap you eat. Vegetables once a month won’t kill
you.”
“Yeah,
Dad.”
“See, Molly agrees with
me.”
“CJ, you understand
that now you sound like my mother. You get that,
right?”
“Shut up,
Toby.”
They are all in the
living room. Molly’s lying on the couch. He’s in one of the big armchairs. And
Dad is in his chair with Mom perched on the arm. They decided what movie they
were going to watch, but nobody has actually put it in. Huck doesn’t feel much
like moving and he thinks the others probably feel the
same.
“Toby, go put the movie
in.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“CJ, if I get up to put
the movie in, you’re gonna take my seat. You get the
movie.”
“I’m not gonna take
your seat. And what are you, four?”
“Sticks and stones,
CJ.”
He looks at Molly.
She’s laughing silently. He and his sister both know that if Dad does get up,
he’s lost the chair. Mom does this all the time. She never sits in that chair
unless Dad’s been sitting in it first. He doesn’t get it, but he thinks it’s
funny. Huck also knows that Dad will move. He always
does.
“Fine. I’ll get the
movie, chair thief.”
“That’s not nice
Dad.”
“Thank you Molly. And I
am not a chair thief.”
But, as soon as Dad
stands up, Mom drops from the arm into the chair. She swings her legs over the
side and looks like the Cheshire cat. Dad shakes his head, but he’s laughing.
Huck and Molly laugh too. Once Dad has the movie in, he makes Molly move down
the couch so he can sit at the end next to his chair. Huck notices about ten
minutes into the movie that Dad is holding Mom’s hand. He looks to Molly and
laughs when she mouths the word “weird”. His parents don’t even
notice.
2019
He’s exhausted. He
wishes he could just curl up in a ball and sleep forever. He’s tired of crying
and watching others cry. He’s tired of trying to be brave and strong and all the
things he doesn’t think he can be. And he’s tired of the ache he feels in his
chest. He wonders if that’s what Dad felt.
He’s supposed to be
changing his clothes and then going downstairs to help. He doesn’t want to help.
The service was bad enough. He hates feeling crowded when he feels so alone.
There are so many people. All the family is here. The ones he considers family
and the ones who are family, at least by name. Even his mother is here. He’s not
sure why, but he resents Mother being here right now. He wishes he
didn’t.
There’s no knock before
his door swings open. Molly comes in and sits next to him. She’s already changed
from the dress she was wearing into a sweater and jeans. He wonders what Uncle
David will make of the jeans. He’d seemed appalled when Mom had told them they
could go and change in the first place. But, Mom had told him that the kids had
quite enough going on and staying in uncomfortable clothes wouldn’t do anybody
any good. Besides, she had said, Dad wouldn’t care what they were
wearing.
“Huck, I was thinking.
There are so many people downstairs, I don’t think anyone would miss us. We
could shimmy down the drainpipe and borrow Mom’s car and... I don’t know... go
someplace else. Any place else.”
“What about
Mom?”
“Good point. We’ll have
to come up with a distraction of some kind so nobody will notice when we rescue
her.”
He looks at his sister
for a minute and then laughs. Hard. She laughs too. It’s the first time in the
last two days that they’ve laughed about anything. It feels good. Huck nods his
head and stands. Molly waits in the hall for him as he changes into jeans and
the ripped shirt he was wearing when he arrived at the hospital too late to say
his farewells to his father. Together they go
downstairs.
~*~
It’s been four days
since Dad’s funeral. He still can’t get used to the mirrors being covered. Josh
and Will had helped Mom do that. They’ve been helping out a lot. Huck knows that
Mom is glad to have them around. All of Dad’s relatives have left. He thinks it
odd that it’s Mom, who’s not Jewish, who is faithfully sitting Shiva. But, she’d
said she had done it with Dad for his mother. Molly had wondered where Mother
had been then, but Huck didn’t have the energy to care.
The doorbell rings and
Molly goes to answer it. It’s probably Will. He said he’d come by with lunch.
Huck isn’t that hungry, but he does like talking to Will. He hears his Mother’s
voice and wonders briefly what she’s doing here before he goes into the
foyer.
“Huck, how are you
doing?”
“I’m okay, Mother. How
about you?”
“Good. Listen guys, I
came over to talk to you. Maybe we could sit down?”
Huck follows his mother
and sister into the living room. Mom comes in from the other side expecting Will
and stops when she sees his mother.
“Andy... . How are
you?”
“Good, CJ. I’m sorry I
didn’t call. I just wanted to talk to the twins.”
Huck watches Molly’s
back straighten. She hates being referred to as a twin. She would rather be one
of the kids. She thinks being twins makes them freaky. Huck thinks she’s a
goof.
“Sure, Andy. Anytime.
I’ll just be in the kitchen. Would you like something to
drink?”
“No thanks,
CJ.”
He watches Mom go into
the kitchen. He wonders, not for the first time if she even likes his mother.
She seems to like her. But, he’s learned that Mom has a pretty good poker face.
He turns his attention back to his mother.
“... and I know all
that she’s done. But, she’s not really your family. I mean, she and your dad
never even married. So, I was thinking that it’s time for you guys to come home.
What do you think?”
He’s in shock. He’s
pretty sure that’s why he’s still sitting calmly on the couch while the world is
turning on end. Molly looks like she’s trying to figure out a problem from her
Trig. book. Mother wants them to live with her.
“No!”
Huck realizes the shock
must have worn off because he’s standing now. And he’s just shouted at his
mother. But, he doesn’t care. He’s home now and he’s not leaving. He’s not
leaving his Mom. He’s not leaving the only real family he’s ever
had.
He doesn’t hear the
rest of what Mother is saying. He’s tuned her out. He goes into the kitchen and
explodes. Mom tries to calm him down. She tells him to think about it. This is
his Mother and she’s just doing what she thinks is best. He sees the two tears
creep down Mom’s cheek.
And then he’s being
pushed back into the living room to talk to his mother like a civilized person.
He tries. He really does. But, Mother has become demanding. She’s not asking
them anymore. She’s telling them. He watches as Mom’s self-control finally
snaps.
“Andy, I swear to God,
if you try to take these kids against their will I will fight you with
everything I have. And I will win.”
“CJ, don’t try that
with me. You have no legal standing. You aren’t even Toby’s
widow.”
The room is silent.
Molly looks horrified. Mother looks confident. Mom looks like she’s ready to
kill something with her bare hands. Huck watches as she takes several deep
breaths, trying to force some control back in through her
lungs.
“Andy, why don’t you
let the kids think about it? They’ve just lost their father. Adding another huge
change on them so soon isn’t easy. Give them some
time.”
Mother looks like she
wants to argue the point but the doorbell rings. Mom goes to get it and greets
Will loudly. Mother says she’ll come by later and leaves. Will puts the food in
the kitchen as Mom apologizes for the mess he’s walked in on. But, Will says
that’s nonsense. He says that’s what family is for. And to prove his point he
calls Josh to come over as well. Huck hears Will tell Mom that he’ll get lunch
ready while she talks to the kids.
~*~
He’s watching his
sister pack. She’s only taking a few things she says. Just to see. She’s going
to live with Mother. Huck had refused. Constantly and consistently. Mom had made
it very clear that this was their choice. She had said that she loved them both,
but they had to do what felt right for them. She would support whatever choice
they made. Huck’s decision was easy. He was staying. Molly had weighed her
choice for four days.
“I just... I mean she’s
making the effort. And it can’t have been easy for her. I just think I should
give her a chance.”
“Molls, I know. We’ve
been over this about a hundred times. I understand. Mom understands. It’s
okay.”
“Then why do I feel so
bad?”
“’Cause it’s a hard
choice. And because Dad’s gone. And it sucks.”
“Gee, Huck. You keep
that up and you could be a good writer someday.”
“Smart
ass.”
“You know it. I’m gonna
miss you, Huck.”
“Yeah. Me too. But,
it’s not like they haven’t invented telephones yet.”
Another smack to his
arm and he smiles. He loves his sister. He’s trying to be supportive. Even
though he doesn’t really understand her need to give their mother a chance. He
loves Mother. But, he honestly doesn’t like her very much. She’s nothing like
Mom.
They hear the car horn
outside. They both know that since Josh called Mother about where they would
live, that Mother won’t speak to Mom. So, she’s outside honking for Molly. Huck
grabs the suitcase while Molly puts on the backpack and picks up the small
overnight bag. They head down the stairs. Mom is waiting at the front door. Huck
watches as Molly rushes into her arms.
“Molly, this is going
to be good for you, I think. You just remember that I love you so much. And if
you need anything, anything at all... .”
“I love you, Mom. I’m
sorry.”
“Don’t be silly Molls.
There is nothing to be sorry about.”
Mom kisses the top of
Molly’s head and then opens the door. She gently pushes Molly through. Huck
follows his sister to the car. He puts the suitcase in the trunk and says hello
to his mother. He hugs Molly and kisses her cheek.
“I love you, Molls. And
you can come home anytime you want.”
“I know. I love you
too. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Huck waves as the car
pulls away. He turns and sees Mom standing in the doorway waving as well. He
walks slowly towards the house. He hates how much things have
changed.
“Looks like it’s just
you and me, kid. What do you say we get out of here? Go see a movie? Maybe grab
some dinner.”
“Sounds good, Mom. But,
I’m driving.”
He watches her laugh.
The light in her eyes brightens. He knows she can hear Dad saying the same
thing. She ruffles his hair.
“Okay. But, I pick the
movie.”
He shakes his head. And
laughs too. He thinks maybe things might just be getting back to
normal.
~*~
He’s writing in the
journal his father had given him for his Bar Mitzvah. He had thought it was a
dumb gift at the time. But, now he’s really glad he has it. He’s been writing
thoughts and memories in it since Molly left. She’s been gone almost three
months. He’s sitting in Dad’s chair. It has the best view of the Christmas tree.
He can see the Menorah on the mantle as well. Mom walks in and sees him. She
doesn’t say anything. Just smiles and nods. She leaves again. He’s pretty sure
she was wiping away tears as she left.
Tomorrow is Christmas
Eve. Josh and Will are coming for dinner. Will’s bringing a date, but Mom
doesn’t think she’s the one for him. Donna and Matt are going to Wisconsin
today, so he and Mom already gave their gifts to the kids. He hopes that Molly
will be able to come over on Christmas morning. She hasn’t called much this
week. And she hasn’t been at the house when he’s called. They’ve both found it
weird seeing each other at school but not going home together. But, they’ve
adjusted.
He’s just started
writing about the time Dad taught them how to throw a baseball when the doorbell
rings. Huck puts the journal down and goes to the door. Mom’s beaten him to it
and she’s opening the door. Molly walks in and drops her suitcase and backpack.
She turns and goes outside. She comes back in with her other bag and a garbage
bag full of wrapped presents. When she’s dumped them on the floor too, she
shuffles her feet for a moment and looks at the
floor.
“Molly?”
“Hi Mom. Umm... I’m
home now. If that’s okay?”
Mom grabs Molly and
hugs her tight. She doesn’t try to stop the tears.
“Of course it’s okay.
Are you okay? Did something happen?”
Molly shifts a little
and shakes her head.
“No. I just... I missed
you guys. And, Mother’s never really at home anyway. So... . She said it was
okay if I wanted to come home. So here I am.”
Mom doesn’t look like
she quite believes Molly’s story. But, she doesn’t look too inclined to ask her
about it either.
“Well, Huck, help your
sister get this crap out of the hallway.”
And with that, Mom
kisses Molly again and goes back to the kitchen where she’s trying to bake a
cake. Huck is pretty sure they’ll be going to the bakery just before it closes
today. He hugs his sister and helps her put the presents under the tree. Then,
he lugs her suitcase back up the stairs. He leaves her to unpack and goes down
to finish writing before Mom asks them to run a few errands. Including that trip
to the bakery.
~*~
It’s well past midnight
and he’s almost asleep. Until he hears his door open. He turns over and is
momentarily blinded by the sliver of light from the
hallway.
“Oh good, you’re not
asleep.”
“Well, I’m not now
Molls. What’s up?”
“I was thinking maybe
we could talk.”
“Okay.”
“Huck, do you think Dad
was sad?”
“When?”
“I mean just generally
sad. Like he was a sad person.”
“No. He wasn’t sad at
all. He was always smiling and laughing. And he and Mom were always goofing
around like kids. Why?”
“Yeah. I don’t ever
think of him as sad either. I mean he was when sad things happened, but... he
wasn’t sad all the time.”
“Why are we talking
about this?”
“Mother wasn’t home
much. She was pretty busy. And when she was there we didn’t have much to talk
about. Last night I asked her why she and Dad got divorced. Why they didn’t get
back together for us. She said it was because Dad was too sad for her. I tried
to figure it out. I just couldn’t. I don’t think Mother really ever understood
Dad. Not like us. Definitely not like Mom. I told Mother this morning that I
wanted to come home. You know, she didn’t seem that upset to see me go. I know
she loves us. But, I don’t think she understands us that well
either.”
“Yeah. I know Mom is
glad you’re home. I am too.”
“So am
I.”
“You should get to bed
Molls. The family will be here early tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Goodnight,
Huck.”
“’Night.”
2032
He’s nervous. He
doesn’t think he’s ever been this nervous before. Huck knows a lot of it is
because this makes it real. After today, this is who he is. A writer. His
publisher had said there would be many more book signings after this one. But,
for him, this is the only one that will ever matter. It’s his first one, yes.
But, it’s the one launching this book. And everyone is coming to New York for
it. Everyone.
He knows that they are
all here now. They’ve been here a day or two. But, he’s been so anxious about
this that he hasn’t been able to see them. Not even Mom. He’d sent them all
copies of the book. Even Mother. He gave Mom hers two days ago when she got
here. And that’s the last he’s seen of her. Marie told him he’s being a loon.
And he understands that. It’s just... well, it’s just that this book is his
heart. And he couldn’t bear to see disappointment in their eyes. Why did he ever
invite them to this thing? He should have known they would come. The “Bartlet
Gang”, as Doctor Bartlet had called them when he was a child, will always drop
anything to be there for each other. That’s just what they do. It’s part of what
makes them so special.
Marie is nervous too.
Not about his book. She says it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever read. And
that everyone in the country would be reading it and loving it soon. But, this
is her first time meeting the whole family. She’s met Mom and Molly, of course.
And he took her down to meet Mother just after the engagement. But she hasn’t
met the whole family. He’s told her that she’ll love them. And they’ll love her.
He knows it.
~*~
They are at his
apartment now. Marie has outdone herself on the food and the wine is flowing
freely. Marie isn’t nervous any longer. He knows she can feel how loved and
accepted she is already by his family. He’s proud of them. And
her.
His apartment isn’t
that big. Mom and Will are scrunched on either side of Josh on the couch. Donna
and Matt have the chairs. Which means that everyone else is on the floor or
standing. But, nobody seems to mind. Mom keeps poking Josh, but he thinks she’s
just doing it for fun.
Will tells him that he
loved the book. Coming from a writer of Will’s caliber, Huck blushes. Molly says
that it wasn’t all bad. So, he kicks her. Mom just laughs. Donna says she’s
sorry his mother couldn’t make it. Huck tells her that Mother sent a note. She
thought the book was good. Josh rolls his eyes. Huck changes the subject and
they all play catch up on what’s been going on. But, it doesn’t take long since
the older generation talk to each other almost every day and they pass on
everything to their kids.
Finally, Josh raises
his voice. And stands, with a little help from Mom.
“I think a toast is in
order.”
Josh waits for everyone
to settle down then raises his glass in the air.
“To Huckleberry
Ziegler. You have written the most amazing book I’ve ever read. You are so much
like your father. Even the shiksa feminista
girlfriend.”
Mom laughs and says
something about Harvard and a jackass under her breath before leaning towards
Marie and whispering that that’s a compliment. Josh clears his throat but Mom
doesn’t even try to look apologetic.
“But, I gotta say, I
think you’re an even better writer than your dad. And that’s saying something. I
know he’s as proud of you today as we all are. So, to Huck. And to ‘A Grateful
Son Remembers’.”
Everyone cheers and
claps. Huck blushes again. He loves these people, his family. He wants to
remember every detail of this. He resists the urge to grab his spiral notebook
and jot down a few notes. And he laughs when he realizes how much his father
used to do that too.
~*~
It’s almost midnight.
Everyone has gone back to the hotels. Marie is almost asleep next to him. She’s
reminding him to set the alarm so they can be on time to breakfast with Mom in
the morning. He tells her he’s already done it. Huck turns over and puts his arm
around her waist. She squeezes his hand.
“Huck, you did good
today, you know?”
“Yeah. It was a good
day. I love you.”
“I love you,
too.”
He’s pretty sure she’s
asleep. He’s not moving so as not to disturb her. But sleep is far away for him
right now. He’s trying to remember every detail of the day in his mind.
The bookstore was
crowded. His publisher said it was a smashing success. It’s funny, but he
doesn’t really remember much of it. He remembers looking through the crowd and
seeing his family. He can recall his name being announced. He knows he stepped
up to the microphone. And he remembers the cheer that went up in the back. Led
by two older gentlemen. Josh and Will. He can still see in his mind’s eye his
Mom standing and cheering. Marie clapping and whistling. Molly jumping up and
down while his brother-in-law and niece looked on. Donna and Matt and their
three kids and spouses. And their kids.
It’s hard for him to
remember all the details because his mind keeps superimposing images that aren’t
real. At least, not from today. He can hear himself describe the book as a love
story between a man and his children. But, he sees his Dad taking him to Yankee
Stadium for his first Yankee’s game. He remembers reading a passage of the book.
But, he watches Mom waving at him and Molly and Dad on their way trick or
treating when he was seven. He recalls glancing back at the last two rows and
seeing his family hanging on every word he’s written. But, he can now see,
behind the others, the rest of his family. President and Doctor Bartlet, Sam and
Caroline, Uncle Leo. And Dad.
He smiles at the
thought. And finally surrenders to sleep.
The
End